Now that I'm a Double D/NP - (2 divorces - no prospects) and seem to be fascinated by train wrecks, ambulances and all forms of police activity, I slapped down my credit card and joined Match.com. Not only have I been rejected by all types of lonely souls and 80 year olds claiming to be 55 - now I have once again slapped down another payment to join eHarmony. Because I don't think I can sleep deeply unless I am rejected by every man out there - even the ones I winked at out of pity. My latest suitor lives in Michigan and there is a fetching picture of him wearing a devil may care grin and brandishing a Machete! He's 12 years younger than me, with a 4 year old who needs a Mommy. He is thrilled about relocating for me - the love of his life. His name as I know it is junglefever4u2. Of course he loves me - who wouldn't! Besides every other man on that site.
At 54 - why? Who knows? My most recent marriage ended amid a financial crisis -a job loss and a depression my husband just could not shake. Near bankruptcy followed and I emerged ready and happy to spend the rest of my life rebuilding my finances and sipping a solitary vodka with my pups. But a man I've known for 20 years swept into my life at a yard sale and changed all of my plans. Handsome, successful and a great Dad. A meet for a drink, a dinner date and another soon followed. This is as the ink wasn't even close to drying on the divorce. I fell with a thud at his feet - totally besotted and soon in a total twirl. I had totally forgotten my plans to be happy by myself. But he hadn't. Divorced for 15 plus years he had no plans on being with anyone full time. I spent the better part of 7 months waiting for the phone to ring - sometimes once a week - sometimes every other and the worst of all was when it stopped all together. We limped along as "friends". There was a constant ache in my heart - as corny as that sounds - I finally felt like I was in the middle of a tearful country song.
Burger wasn't great at a lot of things, but he was just what I needed to shake myself up. I finally lost the 25 pounds I so needed to get rid of - started to seriously train for a Half Marathon in May, had some tweaking done on a few parts I own. And I realized that being alone for the rest of my life was not going to be the way I chose to live. So - next stop a Half Marathon, a total empty nest and I promise myself that there will be no man who own a machete anywhere near my home! This just might end up being fun or not. But the most important thing I've learned is that I have to START living now - no more waiting for life to happen to me.
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